mmm... i found it was huge for me when i was young, but now it's so little bit. i wish i could have tried very hard enough to achieve it honestly.
-2004: when i was grade 9, i was proud to be selected as #2 talent-math-student as Chaktou MUK school representative to challenge for next round for city representative. tell u what? i failed at city stage :(
while i was doing the exercise, my thought buzzed up "oh my gosh!! i never see this so hard exercise... what were they???" funny....
amazingly, life has become more challenging when i keep growing up.
stepping up on Sisowath ground, i became aware of this. i was no longer top 3 students. for de first entrance math-talent class grade 10, i ranked #15 :((((((((((( oh my god, my heart bumped. how come #2 student at chaktoumuk became #15?????????? i myself was really ashamed.
life keeps challenging. i dropped my rank into 20s or 40s (not sure) when i entranced math-class grade 11. what more? i was #6 for entrance of grade 12 oh gosh!! i wished i had been #5 not #6
-2007: when i was grade 12, oh wat was that? haha it's all about mathematics again.... my effort for 3years from grade 10-12 paid off eventually. though the result was not very satisfied, i was #5 among 6 math-talent-student represented for Sisowath high school. LMAO i still dropped out from city-math-competition.
what a broken heart when i was finalist candidate to study abroad at UWC for high school level. I applied to Hongkong alone while other candidates applied different countries: canada, norway, .. i was delighted actually during Chinese new year. my papa had fortune teller that i would go there. scholarships were given priority to provincial students... fail again wahahahaha.. still i learnt a lot from it especially i had true fun time with my friends, Thea, Van, Vonn, and kesey at Pursat.. (^_^)
-my life was keeping worse. i wished i had got grade C not grade B for final grade 12.. :((( i'm so so sick of this. The moment had been worse when the announcement first announced by voice and later by posting paper. The voice of elder man (I guessed he was more than 40 when he was shortsighted). There was an exact name to mine, សុខរស្មី (it was she, and I am a male). Her name was announced first with Grade D, and my name was said (voice of little confusion from the elder committee) that I also got D; boooooo, I felt heart pain, stunning body.... Until later, I did not believe it and tried to find my name again on result sheet; oh god, I actually got C.
-keeps going!! i luckily got selected to get scholarship IFL after written test among top 500 students. wooo hooo i walked proudly dat time after seeing de result. dat what i regret till now... i shouldn't have passed there and put my future in wrong track=(((((((((( i want to be businessman, but turn to study only English haha... It was a silly decision, wasn't it?
-life sucks right??? all my thought went wrong. i had thought IFL will boost my TOEFL which could lift me to get scholarship to study abroad. thought unlike GOD, it was wrong. so after all, dropping oversea scholarship again (CRYING CRYING)...
anyway i learnt lot from them; i unfortunately became final candidate who passed interview from Japanese embassy for Japanese scholarship... Ohhhhhhhh... but it still turned into breaking my heart.... unable to get Ugrade, SUSI was another bitten experience.... ohhh
what's now??? keep turning my way into right place. i have walked many wrong ways, so not now again.... Su su su... what will my life next?? tell u later
-MA abroad (hope)
-own business (prepare)
self-career development (keep prepared)...
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
b positive to urself
have u read my topic again and again yet??? b positive to urself??? don't i?? I DO!!!
are you sure???
well... i think so....
so let's see reality: wat u think of urself? do u like what u're having now? do u envy ur friends or people surrounding? have u thought of wanting a guy to b urs for example, but u feel u'nt qualified enough or would be rejected ????? IF so U have NEGATIVE 'self-talk'
what causes then? it leads to ur low self-esteem, limit ur potential, give up for any big try.... what then? FAILURE!!! which I often say "not anything fails u, but you urself..."
how to deal then? STOP RIGHT NOW!!! stop every NEGATIVE thought of urself.
Put believe that you can improve if you want; "I can do something if I choose to" and "I can change if I really want to" then I think you will be successful. u just need to learn an extra skill... KEEP trying & B POSITIVE :-* together u n me b positive.... fight for sth GREAT, deal??
are you sure???
well... i think so....
so let's see reality: wat u think of urself? do u like what u're having now? do u envy ur friends or people surrounding? have u thought of wanting a guy to b urs for example, but u feel u'nt qualified enough or would be rejected ????? IF so U have NEGATIVE 'self-talk'
what causes then? it leads to ur low self-esteem, limit ur potential, give up for any big try.... what then? FAILURE!!! which I often say "not anything fails u, but you urself..."
how to deal then? STOP RIGHT NOW!!! stop every NEGATIVE thought of urself.
Put believe that you can improve if you want; "I can do something if I choose to" and "I can change if I really want to" then I think you will be successful. u just need to learn an extra skill... KEEP trying & B POSITIVE :-* together u n me b positive.... fight for sth GREAT, deal??
Monday, October 4, 2010
summer con!!!
yay yay, summer summer AIESEC conference ...koo kooo
it was nice time, tiring time, stressful time, fun time, lonely time, missing time, homesick time... i enjoyed being along with new-faced people, but somehow missing ppl in pp.
i learnt to build bond in my LC more by having a good and some bad times together there by listening to their true feeling..
color party, gala dinner, Pyramid, room party, truth & dare.. oh gosh!! it's all abt my long memory. i keep talking abt SUMMER for a week..
keke, i'm eager to join next and next AIESEC conf (save money from now hahahaha)
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